SATC movie outing with the girls was GREAT! I couldn't believe the movie crowd! All women (actually - we found 2 men in the crowd!!! LOL) were dressed in their top fashion! The colourful array of flowy dresses, and sexy heels! It was just AMAZING! Excitement was definitely in the air throughout the whole movie, as we laughed and *sniffed* through a few scenes of the movie! All in all - I loved it! Yeah, it may not have been as "raunchy" as the series, but definitely worth it, as I missed the girls so much!
Now, me? I don't know what to tell you. I am soooo trying to be on the right track! Yes, I am still giving into small temptations, but I have mostly come to a point where a lot of things just disgust me! I don't know if it's my sensitive tummy these days, but I have found a lot of things just plain revolting to me that I used to eat all the time, and even crave! I am still missing a lot of activity in my life, as my sessions with the PT have stalled a little due to my hectic work schedule. I still feel guilty of all kind of things I am doing - and so guilty of asking for more "me" time from the family...so I have to do with the time that I have - which is "work time" - which doesn't allow for much anymore...hence, my difficulties.
Darn guilt!
I don't know if it's my hormones again, but I have been all over the place over the weekend. Even throughout the movie, I have experienced a "mild" panic-attack...which has left me shaky the rest of the night! I hate the fact that panic attacks have that "after effect"...It's so hard to shake off...
Then I got furious and so irritated with the fact that I am STILL experiencing these, even though I am on "medication" for almost a frigging year! I thought I would come to a point where I would feel like I no longer need it - and not feel like I need something STRONGER! :( This has also led me to think that I may need to find someone professional to talk to once again about this....
How do we truly get better? How do we get cured from any psychological disorder? Do we ever???
I am confused. And in the meantime I do feel "the guilt"....it is everywhere...and damn it if I know how to deal with it! *sigh*
Day 13 - Guilt
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
hey mireala-
did you ever undergo psycho therapy for the panic attacks? As i've researched/talked to my dr. etc.. it does seem to be the 'best' method for dealing- the dr's i've talked to say that meds won't do it for a lot of people-i'm still investigating this with my dr. (appt. next Monday!)
the type of anxiety you're talking about during the movie is quite high- i've been there! Go back to your dr.- investigate it-ok?
- jenn
Post a Comment