Finding The Goddess In Me

eating, that is! :(
By now I have eaten "37.5 pts" (WW-speak) worth of food...and it's not even 4:00 p.m....
In the last 2 hrs. I have eaten 3 timbits (little round donuts) and a whole box of Swiss chocolate covered wafers....I feel SICK to my stomach, but if I had anything more to eat right here at my desk - I would!
WHAT THE HECK IS THAT????
I am really trying to understand this process; and I've been "studying" myself for too long to be so clueless, but yet I still am! And it makes me absolutely livid!
I feel like I am betraying those of you who are cheering for me and have been saying: "so glad you're doing so good..I knew you could do it.."..and so on! I feel like such a fake and am embarrassed in front of you...and it's partly the reason why I can't be quiet at this point when I am everything BUT!....

I am speechless. I don't know what to say anymore. I wish I had the answer. I hate to be that classic case of a food addict - a person who is trying to fill some emotional void with food - but I am! I am not in denial! I am just clueless as to what that void is! I wish I could find out, so I can fix it!

*sigh*

If you know what this is, or how to get through this madness, please share!....

If I can get to the gym tonight, I will be much happier, but I may not have a chance to do that tonight, so I may be stuck with this yucky feeling until I regain some sense and stop behaving this way!...maybe tomorrow???