Finding The Goddess In Me

"Malia" is a cruel woman. Her pure existence is pathetic, and her whole purpose is based on putting me down and feeding of my weakness in her presence. Although perfectly beautiful on the outside (as she needs to taunt me with her physical perfection), her soul is black and purely malicious (hence the name). She wears many masks of this perfection, but underneath all that plastic is an old, grumpy, green-with-envy, and ugly decomposing face! Her power is overwhelming at times, as she uses anxiety, fear, and low self-esteem as her power and feeds off of my every "blue" emotion! I absolutely hate when she talks, and I definitely want to make her just SHUT UP! I want to destroy her, ridicule her, strip her of her many "beautiful" faces, and expose the ugly truth of her, that she is simply NOTHING...lower than pond scum...to be dispersed into thin air into non-existence!
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You must think I have gone crazy...but no, my friends, this is a "Buddhist technique vipassana, or mindful mediation, used to treat stress, chronic pain and an array of emotional and physical disorders!" (Taken from the "SELF" Magazine and the article "Talking myself up", as written by Deanna Kizis)
Supposedly, Buddhists have long known of the power you can gain by humanizing a critical inner voice. So, they practice a principle known as apostrophizing. "You take your feelings, treat them as if they have their own identity and speak directly to them"..."This will give you detachment, according to the Buddha."...
And hence the existence of "Malia"...my evil twin...my "negative self"...
I have given her a name, character, and even physical appearance....To tell you the truth, once I have exposed her in such plain site before all of you, she has already lost some power over me! It's amazing! These Buddhists definitely knew what they were talking about!

"Malia" was the one who tells me that I am a "fat pig" when I give myself a glimpse in the mirror of the office bathroom! She says I can't really commit to anything, and that everything I am doing is a scam and a lie for myself - to think I am something I am not..Oh, man - she's evil! Definitely a pathetic existence!
So, I am learning to talk back to her! That is the whole purpose. Once I have drawn her up in front of me - I can distance MYSELF from her pathetic existence, and address her as a separate entity that she is, and beat her down!

By mentally naming all negative feelings and thoughts - you dilute their power to bring you down. Naming an emotion, seems to zap it right away! For example, when you are scared and you say to yourself: "This is fear!" ..it somehow dissipates into much less than what you first thought of ...what you first felt about it!
I will definitely try this when that anxiety strikes...or panic...
Imagine experiencing a full blown panic attack and suddenly saying out loud: "this is panic"....I imagine it jolting you right up into REALITY of the fact that NOTHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU!

Wow, "Malia", you have no idea what's coming to you! *evil laugh*