Finding The Goddess In Me

It’s been a while..but a lot has happened!
Truthfully, I can’t even begin to remember what happened in the past month, but the main “change” in my life is that I have finally FULLY committed to following the Weight Watchers program. Mainly, I have joined “WW at Work” program, where every Friday, a bunch of people (all women, btw) from my company are getting together in one of our meeting rooms and with the Weight Watchers leader and having a regular WW meeting, complete with a weigh in! I have welcomed this “change” in my life, because I think that I so desperately need that accountability toward somebody! I mean – somebody else weighing you – if that will not do it, what will???
So..I have had my first meeting 2 weeks ago when I have had a first WI (weigh in), and 210.6 lbs started back at me from the scale…..
I was *NOT* impressed…But I was not surprised either. I am weighing myself almost daily for the past 2 years, so I KNOW where I am at…but just “sharing” that number with somebody else makes you want to throw up…Here I was, admitting it to the world my exact number from the scale…AND fully dressed, might I add?! Blasphemy! LOL
Anyways…the first WI after that I weighed in with the same number! I was so happy, because that was the week of the long weekend and Canadian Thanksgiving, so I was VERY thankful that I have not gained! This week however, I am in the “GAME ON!”mode, and so far, so good! I am trying not to peak at my scale on the home, so I am not getting discouraged if I am not seeing a loss right away…but I know that I have changed so many things in my diet. I *KNOW* how excruciating it was to pass up all the goodies showing up here at work at all times in order to be “on points” and faithful to the program…so I better SEE the darn loss this Friday…I will report of the results, of course!

In other news? Tomorrow marks the day when I will take my last ¼ of my medication, which will begin my last round of “getting of the meds” process – taking ¼ of the pill every other day….
I am so proud of myself on how I have handled this process! I have basically taken my own approach to this and have gone off these pills even slower than my doctor has suggested, in hopes of lowering any withdrawal side effects one might have. And I have DONE IT! I have not had *ANY* side effects since starting this withdrawal process in August (I can’t even believe I have stuck to this so long…). It’s been slow..but the end is coming! Thoughts were showing up of “how will I take it?”..and “will I get panic attacks again??”…but I am so pleased to report, that I have never felt better! Somehow everything I’ve read about anxiety and panic attacks in the past 2 years has crystallized in my mind, and I have finally taken that “mind over mood” approach and am gaining more and more confidence in myself that it is I who is in control of myself and my moods and emotions, and hence anxiety and panic, which used to grip me.

So..here I am…finding myself once more…in good, in bad…no turning back!