What a weekend!
So Friday was a “shot” day for me…I gave myself permission to rebel and eat what I want, thinking “why not? It doesn’t make a difference if I do or don’t!” Unfortunately, it didn’t end at the end of day Friday! My parents came Friday night (from another town) to stay for the weekend, and there is something about my parents being “here” that sends me running to stuff myself with whatever I can find! I honestly do NOT know what that is! I have tried to think about it – is it because I am nervous? Or maybe because my parents are people who use food for everything in their life: to celebrate, to mourn, to distress, to..whatever! They always bring some sweets into the house, AND they bring a lot of guests over too! When they come, we love to have people around and coming to the house to just “get together”….There is always food, and the food is not low on points! But the biggest reason, I think, of why I stuff my face when my parents are here, is because I feel inadequate! I don’t think this blog is the “place” for what would come out of me if I tried to explain the relationship between my mother and me, but let’s just say that my mom is my biggest critic! It is NOT easy to satisfy that woman! That is all I am going to say about that…(at least for now LOL)…
All in all…a very VERY “bad” weekend, as far as being “on plan” is concerned! I did it very consciously, and it didn’t bother me one bit. The only thing I do hate is that I still look the way I look..and am almost frustrated with “the world” of why I look like this….Never asking myself: “well how did you get here?”….So dumb…yet it just happens!
I have always been fascinated with psychology! And if I could have one wish, I would wish to have means and opportunity to go back to school and get a psychology degree this time….I would be the one to go ALL THE WAY – to get a PhD and be a full- fledged clinical psychologist! Our minds are sooooo powerful, yet so “unknown”…what we are able to do with our minds, is just incredible! Physiological stuff is just a byproduct of what our mind does! What it makes us do….
To reach my body…. I will first have to reach my mind! …and so, the journey continues!
Confession Time
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6 comments:
honey you have amazing insight and intelligence..you don't need the Ph.d...
just maybe 10 minutes a day to write down on paper some of those insights and look back on the days before that you wrote about..
i bet you see more than you ever thought possible:)
xo
:) Thanks, Lis...much appreciated!
Yeah, it's so easy to "give" advice, than take your own! Isn't it?! Weird.... :)
Oh my family makes me run for the kitchen to. And I think you have a good handle on things...the degree isn't what helps with that. Its being honest with yourself...that's it.
Love yah!
*nods* Been there, done that. My dad used to constantly nag me about my weight, which just made me want to Eat More!
>.< Sorry your folks make you jittery...
It sounds like you have a pretty good idea why you run to the kitchen. I have my reasons in relation to my family but I spent years doing it when they weren't around me.
I agree. When I was in school I took a psychology class and it is probably one of the most fascinating classes I have ever taken. Love it! Your never too old to learn! I'm 27 and I know I wanna go back to school, just gotta find myself first, and then figure our what it is I love.
Make it a great week!!!!
Thanks Kari!!!
ALL TRUE!
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