Finding The Goddess In Me

Well, the books for module 1 of my nutrition studies have arrived! I can hardly wait every night, after my kids have gone to bed, to start studying and working on my tests! I hope this enthusiasm lasts! LOL For now, it's going great!
Yesterday was such a happy day too! I took a vacation day off work, and went into my nutritionist's office and worked with her for the entire day! Just calling the clients to reschedule appointments, taking inventory of different homeopathic remedies, and pricing them, has made my day. Throughout the whole day though, I have talked to R. (which is how I will refer to my nutritionist from now on) about nutrition, and business! I took in so much, and have felt a great energy around myself the whole day! It's amazing how such things as changing what you do in a day can make or break your whole feeling of happiness! It then hit me how doing something you dread every day can make you SO SICK! I guess my only solution for now would be to try and convince myself that I have to do my job in order for me to be able to enjoy "nutrition". That's what it really falls down to - at least for now.
I have also talked to R. about food and how I had not been able to concentrate on losing weight, and she has completely understood my problem.
I have told her, it's not about the food anymore at all! It's all mental and connected to our emotions. I have understood the reasons of why I eat what I eat and how much - it's because I feel so "unwell" all the time! Be it anxiety, or just plain "not great" feeling, I have tried to bring myself up to par by eating, thinking it will give me "energy"..."fuel to continue with my duties"...."fuel to be a mom....a wife...a good employee..." Yet, I have been failing miserably, totally aware of the fact that the more I disregard my diet, I will continue to feel unwell, and will probably then continue to gain weight too...
The "compassionate observer" in me has also reminded me that I am on medication! I mean, it's amazing that I am even holding steady at a certain weight, considering that I am taking medication which completely slows down my metabolism and works against everything in my body to lose weight.
The simple fact is - I need to somehow maintain my focus, and I NEED EXERCISE! Now we just have to find the time for me to actually *do* it!

On a completely different topic - I am enjoying this Christmas season. Although I have not yet put up my tree, nor bought any presents - I am excited to start! This coming weekend will all be dedicated to starting off a Christmas season in my home! :) Can't wait!