Finding The Goddess In Me

How many times have you heard that one? Saying it to yourself, or your friends, or anyone! I begin the diet tomorrow! I'll start on Monday!.....

I stepped on my scale this morning and lost all the colour from my face! I was dumbfounded looking at the ugly number on the scale! How can it be??? What have I done??? I weigh more than EVER (and not being pregnant)...almost as much as I weighed when I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter...that is DISGUSTING! Where the heck is that weight?? I honestly don't see myself as being THAT fat when I look in the mirror! WTF???
It's so ugly I can't even say the number...just trust me - it's UGLY! 10 lbs more than when I began training with my PT???? HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THAT BE????

So, what do I say to myself???
"I begin tomorrow"...

And so tomorrow will come..well, tomorrow. In the meantime - I need to prepare myself mentally, to realize what that will mean...what changes have to occur. My very good and old friend (not "old" in age..just how long I know her LOL) commented on my last post and plainly told me - "you have the control"...That's all that is! It's your control...your doing! YOU decide that you want this..that you will do a), b), and c)...and you'll get there! So here I am, trying to think what a) will be...and what b) and c) I have to do to do it right!
It's not like I don't know what to do to lose weight - gosh - I am a walking encyclopedia on weight loss! In theory I am a GD wiz! It's the "practical" part of it - the one where you have to DO stuff to make it happen, that I have a problem with....
So..here I am, trying to dust off my old brain and remember all the right things...

I know some smartypants would say - why wait for tomorrow - begin right now...today! That next moment....but I can't! For me - this will not be "one day at a time"....I am so deep in now that this will have to be "one step at a time"..heck "ONE SECOND AT A TIME"....I am an addict! Food is my drug of choice - the one that makes me feel safe and warm and loved and comforted, but only while I eat it...that is a big BUT! (LOL...no pun intended)....

So, I begin tomorrow...



God, please, make it be my last one!!!