Finding The Goddess In Me

Yes..I know I am quite late with "New Year's Resolutions"...but so much has happened since the last time I've written anything, that I simply do not know where to begin!
First of all, now I am free to write what REALLY was the problem of my deep melancholy and frantic search for "that something" that could explain my life. It was my darn old job! While it was a great company and good people that I worked with, I just didn't like the JOB! Mechanical Design? Are you kidding me? 8 hours in front of the computer staring at the same screen the whole day - I was just wasting away (and I do not mean physically - I wish!)...
That said, I didn't know if I had it in me to find the new job and start anew.
I started looking at job search websites and have sent a few resumes out expecting nothing really, but then I got THE call! Actually - I got THE e-mail LOL....It was for the position of a Project Lead at RIM, and they were interested in having me for the interview...To make the long story short - I GOT THE JOB!...And I am basically on cloud 9, ever since... :)
This new turn of getting to do something I actually like every day, has given me newfound strength to really attack my weight and do it right this time.
While I still follow everything I've learned in nutrition, I have turned now to what I think I lacked, and that is excersise! That was one part of it all that I have struggled to begin again, after so many years....Starting to work at RIM has really pushed me to do that, because they pay a considerable amount of my gym memebership, but then I went even a step further and got myself a Personal Trainer! ;) (whome I'll call PT from now on...) Now that is a TREAT! Expensive treat!..but a treat non-the-less :)...
I have only had one session with him by now, but after it, I couldn't walk for 3 days straight! HA! Muscles hurt that I didn't even know I had! So, I guess that was a good sign! :>

So...I am working on this:

• Eating as per WW points plan and nutritional guide I had from before
• Working out with the PT 2 times per week
• Working out by myself in the gym 3 times per week
• Being kind to myself
• Meditating and finding inner peace for it all

Not bad...

I have NEVER been fatter, and not pregnant..so I can't say enough how sick I am of all of this - of draging around this extra weight that has now put me in the OBESE range (according to my BMI)...I do not recognize myself anymore...I have become this "fat girl" in the group...people around me do not know me as I was before...they do not know that I've been slim once, so I have established this perception in my environment which is just not right, and I feel cheated of everytihng that I deserve! That I can BE!

But I am getting there...Just watch me!